Six Minute Sex Ed Episodes

15: Coercion - Level Two

Welcome back to Six Minute Sex Ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships, hosted by sex education teacher Kim Cavill. For more info about Kim and how this podcast works, check out her website https://www.teaandintimacy.com/ and sign up on Patreon to get access to every episode, as well as printables you can use to enhance your conversations at home.
This episode is level two, which means it’s great for families with teenagers, and we’re going to talk about coercion. CONTENT WARNING: Sexual coercion and sexual pressure
Coercion is when someone is refused, or told no, and rather than accepting the refusal, they try a variety of tactics to change that person’s no into a yes. Kim begins by giving three different examples of coercion, then talks about what a person should do when their romantic interest or sexual advances are rejected, then discusses what you should do if you’ve been coerced, or are being coerced.
Reach out and talk to a friend about how you feel and if you feel alone, text HOME to 741741 (crisis text line) to speak to a counselor. If you don’t feel safe enough to tell anyone you know about being coerced, call RAINN at 1-800-656-4673 for anonymous help, or use their online chat service: https://hotline.rainn.org/online/terms-of-service.jsp
Kim then talks about assertive communication skills an works through an example to illustrate what being assertive sounds like. For more tips, read this excellent article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics/be_your_own_superhero_learning_how_and_when_to_stand_up_for_ourselves
The bottom line: It is wrong to coerce people into doing things they don’t want to do. If it’s happening to you, its unjustifiable, it’s not your fault, and you deserve help and support.
Conversation starters:
Describe a situation where you were coerced: how did it make you feel? How did you handle it? If you could go back, would you do anything different?
If someone tried to coerce you into something, who would you tell? What would you want them to do?
If you like the podcast, support the podcast by singing up on Patreon for as little as $3/month and get access to bonus materials, or rate and review it on iTunes, or wherever you listen to your podcasts: https://www.patreon.com/sexpositiveparent

14: Let's talk about periods - Level One

Welcome back to Six Minute Sex Ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships, hosted by Sex Education Teacher, Kim Cavill. For more info about Kim check out her website https://www.teaandintimacy.com/
This episode is level one, which means it’s good for listeners of any age, but especially great for families with younger listeners. We’re going to talk about periods
Kim tells a story about talking to her oldest son about periods and answers questions like, “Why does blood come out if you're not hurt?”, “How long does the blood come out?" and "Am I going to get a period?"
Kim then talks about how periods actually happen: small organs on the inside of the body called ovaries release hormones that tell the uterus, or womb which is also inside the body, to build up a lining in case a fertilized egg implants and starts developing. If no egg implants, the uterus doesn’t need the lining and it breaks down and comes out the vagina as a period. Then the process starts all over again.
Here are some great videos about periods to watch together:
https://youtu.be/DBe7-PHRav8
https://youtu.be/7O4w0GShDns
https://youtu.be/kmWbOC8Fbb0
https://youtu.be/RX4NJrJxwss
Kim also answers some of the most common questions people ask her about periods, including “Do you have to use tampons?”, “Can a person go swimming if they have their period?”, “Does it hurt?”, and “Does getting a period mean I’m a finally an adult”
Remember: getting a period only means the body is going through puberty and it may be possible to get pregnant, but it doesn't define who we are or what our identity is - and it also doesn’t determine what we have to do with our bodies. Remember, we’re in charge of our bodies, our bodies aren’t in charge of us.
Conversation starter: What questions do you have about periods?
Thanks for listening today! Remember, if you like the podcast, support the podcast by signing up on Patron for as little as $3/month and get access to every single episode, as well as lots of bonus sex positive content. See you next week!

13: Let's Talk About Porn - Level Two

Welcome back to Six Minute Sex Ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships, hosted by Sex Education Teacher, Kim Cavill. For more information about Kim, check out her website: https://www.teaandintimacy.com/
This week's episode of Six Minute Sex Ed is Level Two, perfect for families with teenagers, or anyone with unsupervised access to the internet/smartphone.
We're going to talk about porn in three parts:
Part one: What is porn and is it harmful?
Part two: Is it safe?
Part three: Is it real?
We all need to learn how to be safe online. Here's a link to a resource families can use to learn how to be safe online: https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/internetsafetyforkids/teaching-kids-about-internet-safety/1/
Remember:
Nothing is ever really anonymous or deleted: the internet is written in ink, not pencil
The internet is built on predictive algorithms, which feed you what they think you will like, not what is accurate, true, or “good”
It is illegal to make or consume porn under the age of 18.
The currency of the internet is NOT MONEY. It is attention, so we have to spend our attention like we spend our money. Everything we click on makes someone, somewhere money, so if we click on porn that is non-consensual, degrading, violent, or exploitative, we are participating in that degradation, violence, and exploitation. Therefore, each click represents an opportunity to shape the world and the way we respond to it.
Conversation starters:
1. How do you feel about porn?
2. How do you stay safe online?
Thanks for listening. Remember, to keep the podcast ad-free, support Kim on Patreon for $3/month: https://www.patreon.com/sexpositiveparent

12: All about puberty - Level One

Welcome to Six Minute Sex Ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships. My name's Kim Cavill, I'm a sex education teacher, and you can learn more about me at http://teaandintimacy.com/
This week's episode is Level One, perfect for listeners of any age, but especially great for families with younger listeners - and it's all about puberty.
What is puberty?
Puberty is the name for a series of changes bodies go through as they transform from children into adults and usually starts some time between the ages 7 - 16, though some people start earlier and some people start later.
Puberty starts when when the brain releases a hormone called GnRH. GnRH causes the pituitary gland, which is a very small gland just under the brain, to make two more puberty hormones: LH and FSH. Everyone has these hormones in their bodies, but they can work on different bodies in different ways. LH and FSH both tell bodies to make four other hormones: testosterone, androgen, estrogen, and estradiol. Those four hormones cause all of the changes of puberty we’re going to talk about today.
Check out the following webpages for great information about puberty:
Amaze.org - https://amaze.org/
KidsHealth.org - https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/grow/?WT.ac=k-nav-grow
GenderSpectrum.org - https://www.genderspectrum.org/resources/parenting-and-family-2/
HRC resources for Transgender Children and Youth - https://www.hrc.org/explore/topic/transgender-children-youth
It's important to remember puberty looks and feels different for each person. It helps to know where to get good information and who to talk to when you need support.
There’s no one right way to grow up and even though puberty can make people feel different from everyone around them, like they’ll never fit in, it’s important to remember there isn’t one right way to be a person. We’re all unique, on the outside AND the inside, and our value doesn't come from what we look like or how we grow up. We're all enough, just as we are.
Conversation starters:
1. Now that you know some of the changes that happen to people during puberty, how do you think you may feel when they happen to you?
2. If you think you might experience negative emotions, how do you handle them? What makes you feel better when you have negative feelings?
Thanks for listening today! See you next week.

11: Racism, HIV, and AIDS - Level Two

Welcome back to Six Minute Sex Ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships. My name’s Kim Cavill. I’m a sex education teacher and I’m so glad you’re back!
I make this podcast for busy families to listen to together. Listen together, then talk about it. For more info about me and how this podcast works, check out my website https://www.teaandintimacy.com/
This episode is Level Two, which means great for more mature listeners, especially families with teenagers. Today we're going to talk about racism, HIV, and AIDS.
In every class I teach, students ask me if HIV came from people in Africa having sex with monkeys. That's not just wrong, it's racist. To understand why it's racist, we need to go back in time to the USA in the 1980s.
People sometimes say that HIV started in the 1980s in the US, but this was just when people first became aware of HIV. In 1981, a few cases of rare diseases were being reported among gay men in New York and California. No one knew why these diseases and opportunistic infections were spreading, but they figured there must be a disease causing them.
At first, the disease was called all sorts of insulting names relating to the word "gay", but by mid-1982 scientists realized the condition was also spreading among other populations. By September that year, the condition was finally named AIDS.
Multiple presidential administrations ignored people’s suffering. George H.W. Bush famously said “its one of the few diseases where behavior matters,” which is obviously untrue and just an excuse to continue ignoring people’s suffering. Click this link to read about the activism people engaged in as a response: http://www.actupny.org/video/
In 1983, the CDC listed four main at-risk groups, including partners of people with AIDS, people who inject drugs, hemophiliacs and people who have recently been to Haiti. The absence of reliable information, along with the government silence, inflated the panic and stigma surrounding the epidemic. Click on this link to read more: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9566.2012.01480.x
People talked about the “4-H Club” at risk of AIDS: homosexuals, hemophiliacs, heroin addicts, and Haitians. They believed it was a disease African monkeys had and that it transferred to humans because African humans had sex with monkeys and spread it around.
That myth was born of homophobia and racism. If you want to know the true origins of HIV, click here to read the research: https://www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/origin
Homophobia, queer phobia, transphobia, and racism all still play a role in limiting testing, treatment, and funding for care today. Many of our present day ideas about HIV come from the HIV images that first appeared in the early 1980s.
The lack of information and awareness, combined with outdated beliefs lead people to fear getting HIV. Click here to read more about how stigma limits healthcare and treatment: https://www.avert.org/professionals/hiv-social-issues/stigma-discrimination and check out NMAC, which fights stigma in HIV and AIDS: nmac.org
Conversation starters:
Now that you know one way that racism impacts sex education and public health policy, what are other possible ways you can think of?
What does HIV and AIDS education look like in your community? What do the curriculum materials look like and who do they speak to?
Thanks for listening. Come back next week for another episode!
*Addendum* I am grateful a supportive listener called me in to specify that I’ve never experienced racial oppression. I have experienced other types of oppression, but that oppression is not the focus of this episode of the podcast. Thank you to my wonderful listeners to engaging and learning with me in real time.

10: The Grown Ups I trust - Level One

Welcome back to six minute sex ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships. My name’s Kim Cavill. I’m a sex education teacher and I’m so glad you’re back.
I make this podcast for busy families to listen to together. Listen together, then talk about it!
For more info about me and how this podcast works, check out my website https://www.teaandintimacy.com/
This episode is Level One, which means it's great for listeners of any age, but particularly good for families with younger listeners. This episode is all about trustworthy grown-ups.
We're going to start with a story:
This is a story about a kid named Eve, who uses she/her/hers pronouns. Eve is ten and is disappointed because her babysitter left and she has to go to her older cousin’s house after school until her dad is done with work. She likes her cousin, Kia, well enough, but doesn’t know her very well, and her place is pretty boring. Eve watches TV until her dad comes to pick her up, but, lately, Kia has been watching TV with her, letting her watch shows that her dad never lets her watch. Kia tells Eve to keep it a secret, otherwise she won’t let her come over anymore. Kia gives Eve food she’s not allowed to have, too, and tells her to keep that secret. One day, while they’re watching TV, Kia pulls out something that looks like a pen and puffs on it. The smoke smells good, and she offers it to Eve, but tells her she has to keep it a secret, too, otherwise she’ll tell Eve’s dad she’s been watching stuff she isn’t allowed and get in big trouble. Eve wants to call her dad to ask for permission, but Kia says "No." Eve feels uncomfortable with all these secrets and is scared of getting in trouble with her dad. She gets a weird, twisted feeling in her tummy like she’s doing something dangerous.
How is Eve feeling in this situation?
How do we know if Kia is being trustworthy or tricky?
Here's how we know if someone is trustworthy:

They tell the truth
They respect other people’s bodies.
They respect privacy.
They don’t ask children to keep their secrets.
They ask other grown-ups for help, not children.
They give you a safe, warm feeling - not a scary “uh-oh” feeling.
They follow your family’s rules
They’ll ask you to check with a parent to get permission.
If someone doesn't do those things, or does the opposite of those things, they're being tricky and you should ask a trustworthy grown-up for help. Click on this link to download a printable you can use to remember who your trustworthy grown-ups are: https://docs.google.com/drawings/d/e/2PACX-1vQOctwvjm0vH2oSo6NFnQHXGhM1FL6r_7pvpP0y_88X3EwDdXSrcs6eAQgMsLR-e1muVGdMqYbEz6MB/pub?w=960&h=720
Grown-ups can do this, too! Click on this link to download a printable you can use to figure out your family's support network: https://docs.google.com/drawings/d/e/2PACX-1vRICjYst6fqawG5inGagklvzq7TMtJwvs6QjUfe_Qp0Y-5LlZFscmN3sOMxuv_ML8oOeOqKbQSWG-2W/pub?w=960&h=720
Conversation starters:
1. How do you know if someone's trustworthy?
2. Describe a time in your life that someone was being tricky and you needed to ask someone trustworthy for help.
If you like the podcast, share it with a friend, rate/review, and support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexpositiveparent
See you next week.